Oct 112014

Welcome to the rebirth of Tales from the Toy Box!

Stuff happened. My life changed. I changed.

Writing is something I’ve always loved to do. Reviewing made me happy. Orgasms made me happier 1. A little over a year ago I willingly let my old blog die, allowing it to vanish into the abyss of dead websites. I couldn’t even maintain my own life, let alone maintain a blog. I lost all interest in reviewing and received little to no pleasure from masturbation. So, I packed up all2 of my sex toys and put them into storage.

It’s true.

I have fallen from grace. I landed hard and, with many attempts, failed to get back up. But folks, after a much longer than expected hiatus, I am back!

This site, overtime, will be chock filled with reviews of sex toys and other adult products that I have accumulated over the years. I won’t be reviewing any ole sex toy — There will need to be something extra special about a product to land on these pages. Without trying to sound like a spoiled brat3 , I expect nothing less than what the industry has to offer. Basically, I want it all — quality material, flawless craftsmanship, attractive design, rechargeable, powerful, waterproof — you name it!

Meanwhile, in addition to attempting some web design4, I’ve been polishing up some old half-assed reviews while gazing lustfully at my toy box5 . My reviews will be accompanied by photos, all taken by me, and in the near future I would also like to add some video reviews to the mix.

This is going to be fucking awesome!


  1. Orgasms still do make me happy. Just saying
  2. Well maybe not all, my Salsa is always in my handbag
  3. I’ve become incredibly spoiled these days
  4. Please excuse the wonky-ness while I get things organized around here
  5. Holy ole fuck, I need to update this thing!